Grace Blossoms

Grace Speaks

No matter the struggle you endure, no matter the time in your life, look to God and listen to what He says you are. Listen because grace speaks.

Grace Speaks


“Give yourself a year’s worth of a lot of grace.”

I heard these words come out of my best friend’s mouth about me leaving my job of the last 11 years to be a stay-at-home-mom.

In my head it didn’t make sense. I’d have all the time in the world. Literally.

I was in for a rude awakening.

Learning Curve

All those things other people chipped in to help with when I was teaching like laundry, vacuuming, dishes, childcare, errands became my new time crunch.

And on top of it, because I was a stay-at-home-mom, I felt the need to jump into the PTO, take on a new business to help out with finances, and pitch in more with our non-profit. 

On its own, motherhood within the home is a huge job, but add in all those extra features to it, and here I am feeling confused and lost like a fish out of water.

No schedule. No “This happens now” and “That happens then.”

Just time.

The Stuff

And stuff.

And in that “stuff,” no matter what it is, it is so easy to get distracted and land in this place of confusion and disappointment.

The kids aren’t getting enough of my attention. I didn’t make that call. I missed that appointment. The house isn’t clean as it should be. The laundry isn’t caught up. The blog hasn’t been written lately. I haven’t worked out in months. I’m behind on Bible study. I. Am. Such. A. Failure.

I am floundering, it’s true, but I’ve got one thing that keeps lifting me up. 

Jesus.

Never Alone

I’m not wandering aimlessly.

Best of all, I have a purpose and a calling.

I can lean on Him as hard and as often as I need to.

Lord, what have You put in front of me today?

This pile of laundry? A game of Sorry with my four-year-old? A random blog post You put on my heart in the middle of loading the dishwasher?

Then I consider it joy.

Because it is so unbelievably easy to see it as being scattered or lost or even failing. 

But all I needed was a little perspective and a big reality check, that came in the form of advice from another wonderful friend.

Perspective

Reality: Satan saw an opportunity to chip away at my heart, and I let him.

Satan says:

  • I’m not good enough
  • Not worth it
  • Should do more than I can handle
  • I’m a failure
  • It’s okay to be lazy because being a mom is hard

BUT. JESUS.

Grace says:

  • I’m right where God has placed me after answering a six-year-long prayer.
  • Exactly what my family needs.
  • Have enough on my plate, and He will guide me.
  • Not alone.
  • Succeeding. Learning. Growing.
  • Pull strength from the Lord when being a mom is hard.
  • Trust that He is sufficient and His grace is enough.

I don’t have to worry.

I’m no longer a slave to fear.

For I am a child of a graceful, loving, peaceful God.

Amen.

No matter the struggle you endure, no matter the time in your life, look to God and listen to what He says you are. Listen because grace speaks.

[jetpack-related-posts]

Fearless in Times of Suffering

When your faith is weak what do you do? How do you shake it? How do you dig in and become fearless? Good news: you can't possibly do it alone.

Fearless

If there’s any time I need God’s grace, it’s when I am mustering up faith in Him to become fearless.

When I don’t know how things will work out.

Don’t have control over the situation.

Just can’t make things go the way I want them to.

When I just. Don’t. Know.

Today was one of those days.

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Hospital Scare

I was at the hospital for a routine checkup with Hudson.

Our oncologist was saying how the disease he once had, Neuroblastoma, usually ends up okay for kids like him.

One who has favorable genetics, but he wanted to let me know that there could still be some cancer left over in my child.

What do you mean, left over cancer? You said it was out.

Long story short, he was speaking of calcified and dead cancer and also in generalities.

He ended the conversation by saying Hudson is okay and will most likely have a totally normal life expectancy.

I should be fine, right?

I was.

I am.

But the devil totally saw his opportunity to mess with my head.

What if?

Dr. Martens UK

Get OUT

Get out, Satan. Not today. Not ever!

My God is greater. My God is stronger. My God is higher than you and your lies.

I know the Truth.

I know God is the ultimate healer, and my son is clean from this disease.

I know that even if something does happen, that the Lord will see us through just like He did three years ago.

But most of all, I know that I don’t have to fear anything because I am not a slave to your fear, Satan.

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Who I Am

I am a child of God.

I don’t have to wallow in the piercing fear that immediately gripped me when Dr. Dole began talking about Neuroblastoma.

I don’t have to let myself get caught up in the past trauma of how it feels to be a mother of a very sick child.

I don’t have to camp out there, because my identity is not traumatized mother.

My identity is daughter of God– Heavenly Creator and Healer.

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He > I

He has done a perfect job of being Him. Walking me through all the pain, all the joys, triumphs, and all the fears. 

God’s grace goes far beyond what I could ever be capable of doing myself.

If it weren’t for grace, He would’ve been angry that I could second-guess what I know in my heart to be true, and He would’ve washed His hands of me completely.

But that’s just not our God.

He loves so abundantly and so grand– bigger than we can comprehend.

So, instead of kicking me to the curb, He drew me nearer to  Him.

I felt myself being drawn up into His arms and comforted.

I know what is true: I can trust You, Lord.

Grateful

Thank You Lord, for being a merciful Father.

Who sees my fears and disbelief and triggers of past pain and uses it to pray, connect, and delve deeper in my relationship with You.

Thank You for being a God whose number one mission is to care for His children.

Sitting here in my motherhood fears, You love me so tenderly that I am able to feel calm and peace in my heart.

To be overwhelmed with Your love through grace, to rest in the fact that You are good.

You are God.

You are Truth.

When I Fail

Is it always my first fleshly reaction to trust?

Unfortunately, no.

I wish I could say that every single time I’m met with adversity I was fearless, but fear does get a hold of me–especially when it comes to my children.

However I never have to live in that fear because I have my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Even More

Because of this, I can enjoy my motherhood. I can enjoy my family. I can enjoy this precious gift of life the Lord has given me. I can be fearless.

Best of all, I can share His grace with you with the hope that you, too can open your heart to it as well.

Never would I ever want to hold all this to myself. It’s too big not to share.

It’s too amazing.

It’s the only thing in this world worth calling perfect: God’s love.

When your faith is weak what do you do? How do you shake it? How do you dig in and become fearless? Good news: you can't possibly do it alone.
[jetpack-related-posts]

Inexplicable Grace

The inexplicable grace from our Heavenly Father is something that goes beyond words, but rather is something to be very deeply felt.

Inexplicable Grace

If you’ve never been a parent, there’s no way I can possibly explain that kind of love. That kind of inexplicable grace.

I can use words. I can try, but I’ll never achieve the exact feeling. It’s just too grand.

I’d like to compare it to the love of a spouse because when you fall in love it’s intense. However, this too will never compare to the love of a child because it’s so different.

I could compare it to the love of a sibling. Especially if you’re an older sibling, who feels it’s your responsibility to care for the younger child, yet that child was not created for you. It cannot be the same. 

Fellow parents, why can’t we accurately tell this feeling?

I try so hard to explain everything else as a writer, and yet this one single thing I just can’t pinpoint.

Scratch that. Two feelings I can’t pinpoint.

Beyond Me

The love for my boys is something I never expected, It was overwhelming. It crushed me in a sense. I didn’t see it coming.

And yet, the feeling of God loving me is far greater than anything I’ve ever felt in my life.

There are no words.

To have a relationship. Receive the inheritance as His child.

How could this be? 

Because God’s love is inexplicably huge.

His grace and mercy reaches even the most lost of wanderers.

No Matter What

It doesn’t matter how far you go, no matter how loudly you shout to the world that He is nothing more than a mere Santa, who Christians have made up.

And no matter how you’ve said He isn’t listening or doesn’t care.

No. Matter. What.

Open His Word and you will see. You will feel.

The living Word of the Bible is full of His love.

Yes, for you.

It is true. There’s death, destruction, and sin at every turn, but only so we know how to live. This is the same as how we would warn a child, whom we love so much, not to wander into the street.

We are His children, and oh, how we wander.

Search and See

Search the Bible, read with an open heart, and you’ll be hit with this inexplicable feeling. You’ll be given what Christians are taught, breathe in, and are left in awe of.

Not a teaching on death, destruction, and sin at every turn. Not teaching on how to be better than everyone else. Or hate those who don’t love God.

But something more: how to love.

God’s word is really our road map back to Him. How to get back, so he can lavish his love on us. On you. On me.

Though we don’t deserve it.

Grace.

Upon grace.

Upon grace.

Oh, child. How He loves you. 

1 John 4:7

Dear Friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.

The inexplicable grace from our Heavenly Father is something that goes beyond words, but rather is something to be very deeply felt.
[jetpack-related-posts]