Mental Health Tool
What if we had a way to boost our mental health and work through painful memories and/or trauma within our home whenever we need it?
This was the idea presented to me one evening at the Young Living Convention’s Aroma Share event.
I have been forever changed.
Before I learned about the Memory Resolution Technique, I only had one way to handle tough memories and situations.
I would talk about them with my husband, cry until I couldn’t find any more tears, then just keep going, focusing on the positive and pushing the bad away.
While this wasn’t an entirely terrible way to live, it did make my future tougher to navigate because my brain was never allowed to process the past.
One night, at the Aroma Share event, Dr. Minke was asking questions about my horribly painful cystic acne in an attempt to seek out a root cause after 15 years of failed medicines.
One question made my eyes unexpectedly fill with tears.
” Could it be possible that you may have any tough and emotional experiences or trauma your brain could be holding onto?”
Two miscarriages and a baby with childhood cancer…yeah, I’d say I had some “stuff.”
He suggested my friend (Laurie from One Mom and a Blog) and I head to the Aroma Freedom Technique presentation to see what we could learn.
I had no idea that what would come next would break so many chains and support my mental health the way it did.
Freedom is a fantastic name for what happened to Laurie and me that day.
The women we spoke with decided it sounded like we both could use a memory resolution, and I’m going to be super real with you.
I wasn’t convinced.
It sounded like something outside of my belief system, so I approached it hesitantly and with a skeptical eye.
Oils + Our Brain
What I did know was that Young Living oils have a profound effect on our brain, especially the amygdala (storing and releasing emotional trauma) and therefore our limbic system (heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, memory, stress levels, and hormone balance).
Because this is true, I knew whatever we were going to do that night would definitely affect my brain in a positive way, so though cautious, I was ready to let go of some serious pain I’d walked around with for the last decade.
However it came out; it was time.
It’s hard for me to remember exactly what happened because, as it turns out, releasing past trauma is intense.
Sorrow, grief, anger, guilt…oh, the guilt. Guilt I didn’t even know I had. It all came tumbling out of me, so please forgive me if I (untrained in this practice) miss a step or two.
1.) Frankincense, Lavender, and Stress Away were put in my hand.
I rubbed them together, cupped my hands over my nose and mouth, and breathed deeply.
During this time, I was to recall and go back to the exact moment in time where my trauma began.
I chose the hospital room where my dear friend and pediatrician told me my two-month-old baby, Hudson had cancer.
2.) I was asked to remember and imagine the small details.
Where I felt the emotion (in my chest like an elephant sitting on me), and to pray, asking God where He was during those moments.
I could feel that same feeling sitting on the chair in 2019 that I did in 2013 standing in the ultrasound room.
It had also never felt so clear that God was absolutely with me in that moment wrapping His arms around me, holding me upright.
I cried harder.
3.) I was asked to identify what lies I believed during that moment.
I was afraid of this question.
What lies? I didn’t believe any lies.
Then there it was: This was all your fault, Andrea.
See, the small problem that comes with realizing your kid’s toxin-caused cancer was very much caused by my body/DNA and my choices in products I used while pregnant with him and soon after birth came with good things like being able to turn it around to help other families, but it also came with this little lie I hid in the back of my brain.
Hudson got cancer because of me.
Unexpectedly, my mind shifted over to my miscarriages.
If my baby who lived got that sick, I must have been the reason my other three babies lost their lives.
I was a wreck. Right there next to my friend and two women I’d never met before that night.
I hadn’t cried that hard in a very long time.
Strangely, the woman running the session said during that time that if any other trauma decided to rise to the surface as we realized the lie, to let it come and bring it along for release as well.
It was so painful, friends.
I went back to the losses of my first, third, and fourth babies.
It felt like I was being wrung out.
We were then given the oil blend Release to breath in and told to re-establish truth telling ourselves what our brains should instead believe about our trauma.
Hudson got cancer, but I did NOT do this to him.
My miscarriages were out of my control and NOT my fault.
I am a GOOD mama who loves her children and am doing everything I can to create a safe environment for my boys now.
My trauma was NOT MY FAULT.
I cried even harder.
4.) Inner Child oil blend was dropped into my hands to breathe in deeply as I recalled a positive childhood memory.
One where I felt safe, loved, and happy.
I chose to go back to my childhood backyard with my mama and sister picking mulberries in the summertime.
Then my mind shifted to snuggling my mama on the couch and hanging out with her.
Something I now enjoy so much with my own boys.
5.) Finally, the oil blend Believe was dropped in my hands, and I breathed in deeply.
I’d finally stopped crying from pain and was breathing normally again.
Then she asked us to envision the picture of true, unconditional love.
Tears poured out, but this time it was tears of joy as the clearest image of Jesus carrying His cross was front and center in my mind.
We were given time to work through that image and to finally open our eyes after this entire process when we were personally ready and not a moment sooner, giving our brains the time they needed to come to a good stopping point.
I looked at my sweet friend, who had been walking through her own trauma alongside me (surprisingly not awkward at all), and the first thing she said was that despite my crying, my eyes looked so much brighter.
I felt a weight lifted off me. No more elephant.
The memory didn’t go away, but it did fade as I had come to know it.
It was like my brain wouldn’t let me go back to the place where I blamed myself, and even writing this I didn’t get emotional at that idea because I just don’t recognize it as truth.
I see it for what it is–a lie that doesn’t belong to me at all.
The biggest surprise during all this was how seriously powerful the mind is.
I’m blown away at what it can do to us both positively and negatively.
The next day I was standing in line at the Mona farm talking with a nurse about Hudson’s current adrenal issues and had to recall details of his diagnosis, treatment, etc. as she asked me questions.
This was the first time I had ever spoken about Hudson’s illness without a million different painful triggers (hating the word cancer, blaming myself aloud and inwardly, etc) going off in my head.
That time in our life was painful.
It was a part of our journey.
But it no longer owns me.
Mental Health Tool
Now, I keep those oils handy.
Not because I am dealing with any more big traumatic past memories, but because I now have the power to release lies about past memories.
Applying it to My Social Anxiousness
As an example, I’m working on how to start up conversations with brand new people when introduced. I know that’s a basic human skill, but it’s difficult for me.
Earlier in the month I was introduced to someone new, and my mind just went completely blank. I didn’t know what in the world to say to this person, and the words I did utter felt so weird and awkward at the time making everything that much harder.
That night, I kept wallowing in my failure.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt like I’d take one step forward and three steps back in this, and I was having quite the pity party for myself.
Then it hit me: I could release this, identify the lie, reprogram my brain with the truth, and move on. So I did.
Applying it in My Motherhood
Another recent triumph happened just last week when my oldest, Cohen got his first sunburn because I didn’t reapply sunscreen at the lake when I should have.
We were having the best time, and I simply forgot.
The next day I was crying to Steve about how terrible I was for being so negligent and how could I do this to Cohen?
I am his MOTHER.
That was MY responsibility.
I wouldn’t hear one logical word from him about how he was the dad and might have had a hand in forgetting,too.
Then I could hear myself saying the lie: I’m a bad mom.
I looked at Steve and admitted maybe I was a little hard on myself.
He laughed, “Uh, ya think?”
I went into a quiet part of our cabin with my memory release oils, walked through the Memory Release Technique, and was able to handle the hourly sunburn care on the drive home that day.
This literally rewired my brain to understand the truth in the situation:
I made a mistake. I’m NOT a bad mom. I’m a HUMAN who made a mistake.
Better Mental Health
The ability to identify, work through, and release lies about our past is POWERFUL.
I get to be a better wife, friend, and mama because I actually have a way to deal with what would’ve kept acting like a revolving door of pain.
Click here for help.
This link will also be extremely helpful in starting the journey.
Need step-by-step directions? Click here.