It baffles me when I look back on my life’s struggles through this new lens.
In times of sorrow, confusion, pain. When things fell apart.
Jesus was weeping with me.
I knew I wasn’t alone.
I felt Your hand holding me up.
Pulling me out of bed.
Making me put one foot in front of the other.
I knew You were with me, but I didn’t see you weeping.
As I curled into a ball lamenting my lost babies.
As I hunched over my tiny newborn, fighting for his life, and begging for Your strength.
As I shouted at You at the end of my driveway angry at how I felt You’d turned against me.
I knew You were there, and I trusted Your presence, but I never knew You were weeping over Your child as I suffered.
That is a grace and a love poured out I cannot even fathom.
You are so so good to me.
You care for this heart.
I love You, Jesus!
Thank You for never leaving my side, and for weeping when I weep.
I knew You were my strength and my comfort; I just never realized until now that You were truly in the trenches right alongside me every day.
It takes a complete understanding to weep over someone as they face a trial.
But of course You did. There’s no place I have stood You’ve not already been.
I am overwhelmed by Your love, and I weep tears of joy as I jot this down as fast as I can shortly after the realization of it all.
How you could be a strength and shield and comfort and holding my hand crying Your own tears of anguish…I’m in complete awe at the Truth of who You are.
You amaze me with Your unbelievable goodness and grace.
Oh, Lord, You are so so good to me.