There’s nowhere we can go in this world where we will find another human being that has lived the exact same situations as us.
But we look, don’t we?
We love empathetic people because they’ve been there. Done that. Have insight.
So, we are connected by friends and family, and we feel better. Temporarily.
We are bandaged but not healed.
Why can’t someone who has had similar struggles heal our hearts?
Because even if we lined our situations up on paper, there would still be one big difference: this person isn’t us.
They don’t have our mind or our heart. They don’t have our past or our future.
Unfortunately, that still leaves us broken and unable, trying to pull everything together.
It’s frustrating because we are always so sure that if we can just find someone who “gets it,” we can start to move past whatever is hurting us.
I know how this goes, because I have lived it.
When I speak to other women who have experienced miscarriage, they too have lost a child. I am in the presence of a person who has felt the same loss, so we chat. Offering hope. Offering understanding. Sharing our stories.
Sometimes it just feels good to tell another person who has lived it.
Because God made us to join in fellowship, not live alone. And it does feel vindicating when I hear her hardest part was right before the baby was taken, too. That even though she knew her baby was gone, that she also laid her hand on her belly and wept like me for the thought of not having her baby be a part of her body anymore. Like I’m not the only one. Like she gets it.
It does feel a little better to hear it.
But for all the mothers I’ve spoken with, it never healed me. Not completely. It was good for me to know I wasn’t alone, but it most certainly didn’t change me. My babies were still gone. I still wasn’t raising them at home with my other two children. My heart was still shattered. I was still confused and broken.
Why can’t the empathy of another person fix everything?
Because there is only One who understands everything.
When we’re feeling lost, hurt, lonely, afraid, worried, or broken, we do have somewhere to turn. Someone who will not only empathize, but who will also heal us from the inside out.
I know it’s true because it’s happened to me.
To get me through the unbelievable pain of seeing our first baby’s heartbeat on an ultrasound and then losing it three weeks later. To hold me after learning our twins’ miscarriage possibly saved my life. To break down anxiety over scans that the cancer in my youngest is gone for good.
I have felt it. I know it.
And so I want to give you these.
When you’re unsure where to look, here are Words from the Bible that explain why Jesus is your best ally. And why, when you’re hurt, you can turn to Him above all else to receive complete and total healing.
1. Psalm 119:130
The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.
That’s how we feel when we’re broken, don’t we?
Raw and unsure and simple.
Looking for a reason. We’re unable to understand on our own.
The Lord shines light, over time, in big ways and in little, on every pain. Helps heal us through the process of leaning on Him for understanding.
2.) Psalm 119:169
Let my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding according to your word!
When we’re hurting worse than we could ever imagine, we can cry out to God.
We can ask Him to give us understanding according to His Word.
I can attest that He will. He is always who He says He is. He never lets us down.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
All it takes is opening our heart, and we can feel this very real, very present help.
The best way I can explain it is as an overwhelming sense of peace and clarity. Strength to face my problems because there’s an ultimate sense that I am not battling alone. Something I know couldn’t have come from anywhere else. It’s astounding and beautiful.
4.) Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,and do not lean on your own understanding.
This can be super difficult.
It is hard to trust someone we can’t see, especially if we don’t know Him. I get that.
However, if its come to the point where we don’t know what we’ll do if something doesn’t change, then we can open our heart to the Lord, and put our trust in Him.
Things will change. Not in our timing, but in His. So we are patient (or keep trying really hard…because it is difficult!). We keep trusting, praying, and going to the Lord, and we’ll start noticing things happening that can’t be explained any other way than by the God.
5.) Proverbs 3:19
The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens
If He created the heavens and the earth in all its intricacies, then His wisdom should surely be what we seek.
To guide us.
To carry us through.
Why wouldn’t we go to the One who knows everything?
6.) Isaiah 40:28
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
We faint. We grow weary. BUT with God, nothing is impossible, and so while we are weary, Jesus carries the burden.
We can’t even look for how far His understanding goes because it’s too far beyond what we can fathom.
As children of a Father, we look toward Him, because He knows this world, and he knows our hearts.
He loves and cares for us.
And in that we can find rest.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Not only does God have all the understanding in this world and beyond, but he wants us to seek Him.
He wants us. You. Me. To come looking for him. To call out, “God, help!”
He wants to make our paths clear, to be a lamp to light our way. He tells us plain and simple, “Come to me.”
We don’t have to wonder if we’re enough or if we need to achieve something before we can lay our problems at His feet because He’s already invited us.
It’s a standing invitation to be with Him.
When we show up. Take Him up on His offer…that is when we see—when we feel–change.
When we look at this, which is only a small sliver of how many times we are told to look to God, come to him, rest in him, it is clear that we have an unbelievably amazing ally in Jesus.
And this God of ours, he’s not only an ally here and there or only when you’ve been on your best behavior.
That’s not why He died on the cross.
He died for sinners. He died for you and he died for me.
Because He loves us as we are.
All we have to do is let Him in.
Let Him fight for us, in us, beside us, and we will be stronger.
We will be in the army of all armies, being lead to true victory.
With this love, support, empathy, and understanding, we will be healed.
From the inside out.